Thousands of hope
Myriads of expectations
Months of hard work
Days of planning
You weave your dream world in the sky
You live in the clouds
You play with the angels
Then one day the balloons burst
All dreams are gone
You fall on the harsh ground of reality
You feel the pain
You feel hurt
You feel the warm blood gushing out our face
You feel the pebbles pricking
Your mind gives up
Your heart does not want to go on
Slowly and silently
You get up
You pull yourself together
You have to go
You cant give up
How are you gonna face yourself???
You gotta do it for yourself
You have to try
You have to pull yourself together
You gotta WIN
The taste of victory is so sweet.....
Once again, just what I had not wanted to happen anymore!
I cant believe its happening to me again!
The same old cluttered mind, the same mixed emotions, the clash of egos, the fight of dilemmas, the sweetness, the bitterness, the excitement, the emptiness, the loneliness...its all coming back....
I hate it
I love it
It makes me sad
It makes me happy
Its a roller coaster ride!
What do u do when you have lots of stuffs bottled up inside you and you don’t know whom to tell all those????
You possibly cannot keep them bottled up because they make u sad; they make u feel hurt…
You need to put them aside else they wont let you be in peace, wont let you rest, they wont let you stop thinking about them….
So what do u do????
You blog! Especially if you have a blog which no one reads anymore since your last post was almost a year back and you really don’t want many people to read them…
Did I get myself through another year???
Oh yes, almost a year did pass by.
A year I spent fighting the memories of my past, not knowing the present and clueless about the future. A year where I tried fruitlessly to forget things but they only added to my misery, my sufferings. I tried to remain tough but a weak, careless moment always caught on me bringing back those haunting memories and breaking my shield. I tried hard to burn the scenes from my memory but the ash and smoke made my eyes go wet.
I can’t take this anymore. Its time to get over with this. Once and forever. I want to live everyday as if there is no tomorrow. I don’t want to live in my past. I want to forget everything. I had already turned on a new page a year back but kept turning back to the older pages but now I am going to stick to my new page. I am going to make use of every opportune moment that comes my way and I can’t stop for anything. I don’t want to be restrained by anything ever. Once again I am going to follow my motto…
‘Remember you are born to live. Don’t live cos you are born. Don't go the way life takes you..., take life the way you go!!!'
I am going to hurt a lot of people around this time, cant be my own good self anymore; its way too demanding. I can’t care about making people around me happy anymore; I am going to have everything my way. I cannot care less about how people going to feel, because I have learnt that it really does not matter, you got to live your own life, and in that journey you are just alone and lonely.